Father's Day

I have a tough time on Father's Day.

On the one hand, I love being a dad. There is nothing better in my life than my two kids. They have made me a better person (far better than I would have been without them) and they bring me such joy. Even when I am writing a huge check for another semester tuition for my daughter, or when my son does another dumb boy move, I thank God everyday for having my kids in my life. My heart is much lighter because of my being a dad.

On the other hand, my own father is no longer here (it will be 9 years this coming October). Growing up, especially as a teenager, I butted heads with him constantly. As a young adult, I wanted to be my own man and go my own way. It wasn't until I reached some measure of maturity that I realized my Dad was a far better man than I could ever hope to be, and if I could be half the man he was, I would be a successful human being. The problem is, soon after I finally had that realization, he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Fortunately, there was nothing left unsaid between us when he passed away, but the pain of not having him around still leaves an empty spot in my heart. It is not easy to go through a Father's Day without wiping a lot of tears.

So, what is my solution? I don't have the foggiest idea. Every year I just stumble through, concentrating on the joy of being with my kids.

Sorry, no great insight, just something I had to get off my chest.