stealing ideas from the Gracies

My 10 year old son does jiu-jitsu. He does competitions as well as regular training. He loves it. I want him to keep loving it. I have spent a lot of time worrying whether I might become a "little league dad" and push him so much that he starts to hate it. I have tried to make sure that never happens. One of the things I have used is something I stole from Helio Gracie. I have heard Royler Gracie tell a story about the first time he entered a competition when he was about 8 or 9. Of course he grew up watching his brothers and cousins win, so he thought it was important to win as well. His father, Helio, took him aside before the match and said "if you win, I will give you five dollars (actually, the then current Brazilian equivalent). If you lose, I will give you ten." Royler realized that he would win either way, so the pressure was gone.

Before my son's (Ronan) first competition, I used the same tactic. It worked. He went, tried hard, and had fun. Since then, he has competed numerous times, sometimes winning, sometimes losing. But either way he was fine with it. Now, we have a little ritual we go through every time. I say to him, "What is the most important thing today?" He always answers "To try my best!" I then say "What is the second most important thing?" He says everytime " To have fun!" Then I hug, kiss, and headbutt him, and off he goes.

As soon as he comes off the mat, win, lose, or draw, I pick him up and tell him how proud I am of him and call him champ. That is something else I stole from a Gracie, this time Rickson. The first BJJ comp I was at, I noticed how most of the black belts were so passionate about winning, to the point of being sore losers, and argued every point that went against their athlete (not my coach though. Megaton believes in having dignity and letting the athlete do his thing and not overshadow him). If the athlete lost, the blackbelt/coach usually said something nice and then moved on. Not Rickson. Every one of his guys,from the rawest white belt to his oldest student, whether they won or even lost by submission in the first minute, was greeted with a huge smile, a big hug, and the heartfelt words of "great job, Champ!" You could tell he was just happy that his student had the guts to get out on the mat and test himself. Rickson showed me how a real coach acts. So I use that with my son and two of my nephews who do BJJ. So far, so good.

more big oil garbage

My favorite business entity (he says incredibly sarcastically) is at it again. They are doing everything they can to screw consumers.

Here is the deal. Gas at the pumps is sold by volume. When things get hot, they expand (duh). So, when gas gets hot, it expands and therefore has LESS mass per volume than when it is cooler. So, following that logic, if gas is being bought/pumped when it is hot, there will be less being put into the tank than when it is cooler, BUT the cost to your wallet will be the same. The fair thing to do would be to adjust prices when outside temperatures negatively affect the gas sitting in the pump. Guess what? Because of lobbying efforts by Big Oil, only Hawaii has regulations to that effect. All the other states who have a tendency to be hotter more and longer during the year (Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Florida) have NO such regulations. So those of us in those states are wasting x amount of money every year that go to directly profit Big Oil. By how much? It is estimated as much as $150 MILLION!

Yeah, they are good caretakers of the public welfare. Oooh, more sarcasm. Great job, all you politicians for taking care of us.

You are in charge!

There was a terrific article in Tuesday's USA Today regarding a Harvard study about American life expectancy.

Essentially, it said there are 8 different America's. They are separated by life expectancy. For example, "America 1", the highest, is asians, whose life expectancy is 85. The lowest, "America 8" is comprised of high risk urban blacks, at 71. Here is what is really interesting. The study found that those things that are always assumed to be the most important factors in living long (higher income, better health care, etc.) actually make only a small contribution. The second longest living group, "America 2" are made up of low income whites in the midwest, an area of the country that traditionally has a lesser level of high level health care. Here is a quote from one of the researchers. "There's no way differences in the quality of health care can explain 20 year gaps in life expectancy".

So what do they say seems to make the most difference in living a long life? Diet, exercise, and smoking! All things that each one of us has direct control over! Basically, eat right, exercise smartly, don't smoke, and manage the stress in your life, and chances are you will live into your late 70's or 80's. Don't gripe about it all being someone else's fault or responsibility. It's yours. Do the right things, and they will pay off, especially in the long run.

new Fight gear

There is a new fight gear company called Yesithurts (www.yesithurts.com). It is run by a friend of mine, Mike Grandinetti, and they deserve a strong look. First, the owners are completely trustworthy who understand the importance of customer service, and the gear looks good! They have a bunch of different designs and solid prices. Right now they have t-shirts and board shorts (BTW, I know that Mike spent an incredible amount of time to make sure the shorts are as high quality as possible). There are other stuff in the works.

Cecil says, check them out.

My grandmother

I am going to be a little self-indulgent here. Actually, that is redundant since the very act of having a blog is incredibly indulgent, but usually I try to pontificate about stuff that I think people might find interesting or useful. Today, I am going to be selfish. Most likely no one outside of my family will ever care to read this, but it is important to me.

My grandmother died on Tuesday. Her name was Dee Cope and she was 90. She lived an amazing life, full of activity and happiness, especially in her later years. She was also the perfect grandmother. And that is not a joke. Think of whatever in your head is the ideal grandmother, and I guarantee she fits it. Technically, she had one daughter, two grandchildren, and five great-grandchildren. In actuality, she had five kids (4 that were her sister's), 12 grandkids, and a horde of great-grandchildren. She also never met someone who wasn't welcome to join her family, unless you regularly voted republican, and then she would make you wait about 5 minutes before she allowed you in.

It was very peaceful when she passed, for which I am grateful. And she went out on her terms, of course, because she could be bossy. I will miss her, but I can't forget her because she taught me so much, not the least of which was by example.

I could go on and on, talking about Dee Dee stories, but I will just end with this. Dee Cope was the best grandmother ever, and the world is a darker place without her. I love you, Dee Dee.

internet shopping

It is easy to get ripped off on the internet. Here are some places that I trust because I have shopped there a number of times.

Amazon - For me, the best arguement in favor of the internet. I love this place. I don't know what I would do without it's wishlist feature. I could probably do without the internet except for email and Amazon.

Budovideos - Probably the best one stop shop for martial art videos. If I look into buying a new DVD, I check here first.

Ringside - I have been buying stuff from them since 1987. I have never once had anything but top notch service. Pre-internet, it was the only place you could count on getting quality boxing equipment.

Jiujitsu Pro Gear - Run by some really good people. Friendly, and they actually care about the sports of MMA, BJJ, and submission wrestling.

Atama - Really great customer service. Between me, my daughter, and my son, I have bought A LOT of different gear from these guys. Not only has there never been a problem, but I can count on shipping to be less than a week if it is in stock.

BJJ Mart - Not a huge selection, but fantastic customer service and fast shipping.

Sambazon - Where I get my Acai fix when I am pretending to be brazilian. Good guys here.

Hand Held Items - My first place to check for IPOD stuff. Good prices, and good service (though I have not shopped here as long as the others on the list, I have had good luck so far).

Sportsman's Guide - the best place to start with camping, hunting, shooting, and military surplus. This is where I get my canvas bags to make sandbags for working out. A lot of hard to find stuff at sometimes great prices. Solid service too.