what about the other guy?

I was talking with my BJJ coach, Megaton, in his office after a class the other day. We were discussing the problem of guys who train like their life will end if they get tapped out by someone. You know, the type of guy who thinks (or who wants to project the image) of himself as a bad ass. Generally these people don't care if they hurt others, and usually they don't last in the long run because at some point their ego takes too much of a beating.

Funnily enough, in Brazil, where machismo and being tough is almost a religion, they don't really have this type of problem. It is the American/European who have it. That is why in BJJ academies in Brazil, if an American /European goes there to train and they don't know you, they will be very cautious at first until you prove you are not one of those idiots.

Anyway, Megaton said something so profound that I was momentarily stunned. Now remember, Megaton is one of the baddest mothers you will ever meet. He loves to train and he loves to compete. He is a legend in that regards. As a matter of fact, he is the ONLY man to compete as a black belt in every single BJJ world championship. Think about that. What it means is that most of his contemporaries who he came in with have long since retired, yet he is still out there putting it on the line against BJJ BB's 5 - 15 years younger than him. So his competitiveness is well documented. Now if anyone alive could be justified in being a little self-centered in his training outlook, it is him. Yet, having said all that, here is what he said to me that shook me:

"The other guy (your opponent in training) deserves a good day too"

Now think about this for a second. Here is a guy who has every reason to go hard every session and try to do his best, yet he is advocating that we should also take into consideration the well being (physical and emotional) of the other guy across from us on the mat. I have tried to be a nice guy when I train (some of my friends tell me too much so at times), yet I have never thought about it in the context that Megaton expressed. Just brilliant.

How much better would ALL of our training experiences be if we all followed this? The gym would be a true place of refuge and solace. The pressure on us would always be OUTSIDE, in the real world, not on the mat or in the ring. And then, what would happen if we followed this philosophy outside as well? Every single one of us would be responsible for some improvement in the world. A nice thought, in my opinion, and a much more lofty goal than making my triangle better.

So, for me, this will be a new mantra for me. Maybe someone else will follow suit. I hope so.